What Makes Someone Easy to Talk to in Japan? Japanese People Share Their Answers

Listen with interest and give space

The answers below come from published Japanese surveys, alongside practical conversation examples. They aren’t a checklist that every Japanese person follows.

In a 2024 study of 6,000 employees in Japan, PERSOL Research and Consulting found that attentive listening stood out among the characteristics of people respondents could speak openly with. This was research about workplace communication, so it doesn’t directly measure friendship. Still, it suggests a useful place to start: how you receive someone’s words matters.

If you’d like to meet Japanese people online, Langmate gives you a place to start those conversations. You can learn more about the app and its features in English on the official Langmate website.

Let your response show what you heard

Imagine a new friend tells you:

You could ask where the club is. But there’s another opening in that message:

You’ve noticed the part that mattered to them.

In spoken Japanese, small listening responses called aizuchi can also show you’re following. Japanese Online Institute explains that their meaning depends on the speaker’s emotion, your relationship, and your tone. A casual sō nan da—roughly “Oh, I see”—acknowledges new information; ii ne expresses a positive reaction, like “Nice!” Choose a response that fits what you actually heard.

You can do the same in English. “That sounds frustrating” or “You must have been excited” gives the speaker something warmer than silence.

And if you didn’t understand, ask. “Sorry, do you mean you joined yesterday, or played your first match yesterday?” keeps the conversation honest.

Street Interviews: How much does sushi cost in your country?

Sushi feels completely normal in Japan — until you ask someone from overseas how much it costs back home.

Langmate stopped an American traveler in Japan and asked one simple question:

The answer is a good reminder that the same Japanese food can feel very different once it crosses borders. What seems like an everyday meal in Japan can easily become something much more expensive abroad.

These little price comparisons are one of our favorite things to ask visitors because they reveal what parts of Japan feel surprisingly affordable — or surprisingly special — to people from other countries.

Langmate shares street interviews like this on Instagram and TikTok, covering Japanese food, culture, travel, and everyday life from an international point of view.

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Curiosity feels better when it leaves an exit

In a 2013 Research Plus survey of 1,000 adults in Japan, respondents described respecting boundaries as something they valued in friendship. One written response explained that they avoided pursuing a subject when a friend wasn’t engaging with it, recognizing that everyone has things going on. It’s an older survey, but the answer offers a concrete habit worth trying.

Suppose someone says work has been difficult. You might reply:

That lets them choose. Perhaps they want to explain. Perhaps they want to discuss a dog wearing shoes.

Being easy to talk to includes accepting either answer.

The same applies to questions about Japan. “What do you enjoy about living in your city?” leaves room for a personal response. Asking someone to explain everything about Japanese society can feel like an unexpected homework assignment.

A different opinion can keep the conversation interesting

Another respondent in the Research Plus survey described making an effort to respect opinions that differed from their own, rather than dismissing them immediately.

You can be honest about your preferences and remain curious:

There’s a little personality in that answer, plus an invitation to tell you more.

Keep early humor gentle. A joke about your own limited outdoor skills gives someone less to worry about than teasing their accent or interests.

Share enough of yourself to make the conversation mutual

A thoughtful listener can still become difficult to know if every reply is another question.

After hearing about that first badminton session, you might add:

Use your own real experience, of course. A small, imperfect detail gives the other person something to respond to. They don’t have to carry the whole exchange.

One respondent in the Research Plus survey recalled feeling supported when a friend spent about an hour listening during a difficult period. Their account emphasized the relief of being heard and understood. There was no dazzling conversational performance in the story—just someone making time.

In a new online friendship, that attention can begin much more simply:

A message like that connects today’s conversation to yesterday’s. It says you remembered.

When you’re ready to make Japanese friends online, try Langmate. Start with something in the other person’s profile that interests you, share a little of yourself, and leave room for their answer.

You might discover that the conversation becomes easier once you stop trying to make every sentence impressive.