Are Japanese People Really Shy With Foreigners? We Asked Them

Wanting to engage and feeling nervous can exist together

A 2024 survey by IIBC, the organisation that administers the TOEIC Program in Japan, asked 501 adults in Japan about welcoming international visitors. In that sample, 77.6% wanted to offer hospitality, while 70.2% felt they were not good at English. Reported difficulties included finding words and understanding spoken English. These results concern visitor interactions, rather than friendship or personality, but they show why hesitation shouldn’t automatically be read as disinterest.

Think about how you feel when speaking a language you’re still learning. You might understand the question and need a moment to build your answer. By the time you’re ready, the conversation has moved on.

That can happen on either side.

If speaking immediately feels demanding, starting with text gives both people time to read and respond. Langmate offers a way to begin conversations with people in Japan through matching and chat. You can learn more about Langmate and its features in English on our official website.

A small successful exchange can matter more than perfect grammar

The IIBC survey also published respondents’ experiences. One described feeling pleased when their imperfect English was understood and a visitor thanked them with a smile. Another remembered a child continuing to wave after they helped at a ticket gate. These were accounts collected by IIBC, rather than interviews conducted by Langmate.

Those moments suggest something practical: acknowledge what the person communicated. If you understood their explanation, respond to it. You don’t need to turn their English into a performance you’re evaluating.

“Thanks, that helps!” can be enough.

When something is unclear, ask about that particular part:

That gives them a manageable question to answer.

Check the language instead of guessing

Being from another country doesn’t mean you prefer English. Being Japanese doesn’t tell someone how comfortable you are speaking Japanese, either.

A brief check can remove some uncertainty:

Use that only if it reflects your ability. If you need translation, say so.

Then give the person time. Ask one question, pause, and listen. Filling every silence with three more questions can make an already difficult exchange harder to follow.

You can also share something about yourself before asking for a response:

The situation supplies the topic. Nobody has to produce a fascinating life story on demand.

Street Interviews: What’s your impression of Japanese people?

One of the best things about street interviews is hearing the answer before you have time to guess it.

For this video, Langmate met a French woman in Japan and asked her a simple question:

Her answer gives a small but interesting glimpse into how Japan can feel from the outside — not through guidebooks or stereotypes, but through someone actually spending time here and meeting people.

That is exactly why Langmate keeps filming these conversations around Japan and sharing them on Instagram and TikTok. Sometimes a short answer says more about cultural differences than a long explanation ever could.

Curious how visitors from other countries see Japan and Japanese people?

See more Langmate street interviews on Instagram 🎵
Check Langmate Official Instagram

Where you approach someone matters

A person rushing through a station may respond briefly because they’re trying to catch a train. A café employee may be friendly while needing to get back to work. Neither exchange tells you much about their willingness to make international friends.

For friendship, choose a setting where conversation is part of the activity: a hobby group, a social event, or an app intended for meeting people.

Give someone an easy way to participate. At a shared activity, comment on what you’re both doing. Online, mention one detail from their profile. A relevant question makes your reason for reaching out clear.

Let people become comfortable at their own pace

Imagine someone who sends thoughtful messages but says much less during your first meeting. They may be adjusting to speaking without time to translate, or simply getting used to being with you in person.

You can suggest something with a shared focus, such as browsing a market or playing a simple game. There’s something to react to when conversation pauses.

Avoid making their quietness the main topic. “Why are you so shy?” asks them to explain themselves when they may already feel self-conscious.

Instead, offer choices:

That lets them help shape the interaction.

Leave room for a genuine lack of interest, too

Hesitation can have many explanations, and you don’t have to discover which one applies. If someone repeatedly declines, doesn’t engage, or asks for space, respect that.

You also don’t need to excuse rude or discriminatory behaviour as shyness or a cultural difference. Mutual respect still matters.

When you meet someone new, make the first exchange manageable: choose a suitable moment, check which language works, and allow a little silence. Then notice whether they choose to continue.

A person who seems reserved at first may have plenty to say once the conversation feels comfortable. Give them room to show you who they are.